“If you don’t ask, you don’t get!”

Another cheeky request at work…

This is a long shot, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get!

 I am a mature student, who is currently in my second year of my university degree, I have a very small top floor two bedroom sea view flat, currently empty, as have been trying to rent it out since September to no avail.

 If money were no object I would love a roof extension, that included an outdoor garden area, an outdoor shower, extra space, possibly a new kitchen in the roof, with lots of light.

 Do you  know of any projects, where this work, could be done for free, as say a television project, an architectural competition, or even a scheme I don’t know about.

“Useful for a crime drama”

A property owner trying to promote his property to the film and photographic industry - I’m thinking he’s “the son that beheaded his mother”

“I have a property void at present, and its not lavish, far from it, and its a council flat in the typical block, and generally tatty at present from being let, but the property has an interesting if not horrific history, and it could be what someone is looking for, depending on the nature of the project.

 Has 2 large double bedrooms, one double bedroom, lounge, kitchen, bathroom, w.c., inner hall, outer hall, balcony, sea views, views overlooking childrens park and childrens school, so useful for crime drama.

 It was also subject to drama itself about 12 years ago, when it was let to a housing assoication who let overoccupation take place, with up to 20 people using the flat, and where eventually the son beheaded the mother, in front of the family there which reached natiional newspapers and tv.”

Twitter LOL - Weird sexual innuendos that aren’t really but kind of are…

So yeah, I came across a weird conversation on my Twitter feed the other day, two people I follow were having a wee chat,  this chat then turned into one of those strange, I’m going to try and be a bit sexy…but it’s okay because no one is saying “fuck” “knob” “bone” or “dinkle”. And yeah here it is, the end made me chuckle, obviously deleted their names, even thought they can’t have been that bothered by posting public messages on Twitter. So parts of it don’t really make sense, which kind of adds too how stupid it is. Some classic lines in the last quater I must say. Enjoy!

It wasn’t sexy…It just made me think that they were weird….

Dude: you got your red cheeks and glitter sorted yet? ;) x

Chick: haha yesss :P I’m determined to be a elf ;) xx

Dude: will you be an elf like buddy? That would be cool! :p x

Chick:  of course I’m the coolest person ;) love dressing up haha. wanna watch elf now! blaming you haha. xx

Dude: guilty as charged! “The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.” ;) hehe x

Chick: the fact that I don’t own this film makes me want to cry :( xx

Dude: well if you’re a good elf Santa will bring it for you for Xmas… Lmfao x

Chick: haha hope so :P I miss visiting Santa’s grotto :( xx

Dude: well fingers crossed everything pans out and we’ll have the best damn grotto in the area! Then you can be a big kid again :) x

Chick:  yaaay I really hope so :D I’ll be a hard working elf :P are you Santa? haha xx

Dude: lol I don’t think I really have the build for Santa… But we’ll see! :p x

Chick: ho ho ho :P do you live in *****? Xx

Dude: yes! Well outskirts of anyway lol u?

Chick: yeah I live in the city centre :) xx

Dude: lucky you! ;) wish I lived a bit closer but only 20mins on the bus so can’t moan too much lol x

Chick: it is rather handy :) aw that’s alright then :) xx

Dude: especially for those drunk nights out :p hehe

Chick: haha yess  I wanna go to woman in black

Dude: Yeah woman in black is amazing! I’m too busy working 2 c many shows unfortunately :( x

Chick: aw it looks scary haha. what job do u do? I wanna work in theatre so much :( xx

Dude: yeah it does make u jump. I saw it whilst hungover and sleepy and it made me jump loads. I do anything I can get my hands on. Tell you what if you get bored have a look at my website :p x

Chick: haha I have the worse mind ever I apologize :P my phone wont load your website properly but from what I can see its fab :) x

Dude: yes ok it did sound rather dodgy didn’t it… Hehe oops! X

Chick: hahaha mine probably is…it really is bad haha ;) woo I’m very impressed :) xx

Dude: haha I guarantee my mind is worse much worse mwahahahahaha :p and awww thanks ;) x

Chick: hahaha I will happily challenge you :P I’ll win ;) x

Dude: wow sounds like a challenge to me mwahahahahahahahaha :p and thanks :D x

Chick: haha that made me laugh out loud :P I’m defo up for that haha :P x

Dude: haha now how can I put this so it doesn’t sound too bad… Umm ok I can’t! Sounds like a night of filth is in order then HA x

Chick: woo yaay! hope you’re prepared to lose ;) xx

Dude: wahoo! Sorted! It shall be done then :P xXx

Chick: hahaa I know I’ll win ;)

Dude: haha yeah yeah! I don’t do losing :p

Chick: well you’re gonna lose this time :P

Dude: prepare to lose! :p

Chick: haha yes sir :P erm I’m the winner already :P you on Facebook? Xx

“After your death you will be what you were before your birth.” - Arthur Schopenhauer

Hilarious Junk E-mail Received at Work Today

Dearest One,

I greet you in Name of Our Lord Jesus Christ; my name is Mrs Adele Kawanne . I am Married to General Minister Kawanne H Cooksey in Ivory Coast, We were married for eleven years without a Child before he died during the Political Election Crisis, we were both born again Christian, Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home, When my late husband was alive he deposited the total sum of $usd4, 500, 000, 00(Four Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars) In my Account here, Presently, my Doctor confirmed to me that I have serious sickness which is cancer problem, the one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness, Having known my condition now, I have decided to Donate this Fund to a Church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein, I want a Church or individual that will use this money of the helping orphanages,widows,propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained, For I know that my sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in me in the kingdom of God Almighty according to the book of [Romans 8:18]. Therefore I am giving out this Donation in the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ, for it is written that I should give, and it will be given to me, Blessed is the hand that giveth, I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and I don’t want my husband efforts to be in vain, I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. Please, let my Donation be in secret between me and you, as it is written in the book of [Matthew 6:3-4] That when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand to know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will himself reward you openly. I am not afraid of death since I know where I am going, I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord, because the Lord has been my strength and hope as soon as I receive your reply in acceptance of my Donation, I shall give you the contact of the Bank here in Ivory Coast…Will you please send me down your private telephone number here immediately, also I want you and the church to always pray for me. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian, Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth, Please always be prayerful all through your life, and also remember me in prayers. Hoping to receive your reply and remain blessed in the Lord. Yours Sincerely in Christ, Mrs.Adele Kawanne.

Itchy Feet

Will stop reading travel books!

Maybe Here….

Or Here…

Or Here… Please here!